“America First”… in Tacos? Waffles? Bitters? Beef?
Reheated leftovers from America's 2016 fridge
Let’s talk about Trump’s latest campaign slogan, or, should we say, reheated leftovers from the 2016 fridge — “America First.”
Ah yes, “America First.” It sounds bold. It sounds patriotic. It sounds like something you'd yell right before chugging a Mountain Dew, punching a hole in drywall, and riding a bald eagle into a fireworks warehouse labeled “No Regrets.”
But once you bite in… it’s mostly just air. So we’re left asking:
America First… in what exactly?
TACOS?
Trump was once referred to as a “taco” in political circles, not for his flavor, but for the many layers of BS and his uncanny ability to flip over and spill everything mid-sentence. One day he's for something, the next day he's against it, the third day he denies he ever heard of it. He makes actual tacos seem stable.
Trump’s Flip-Flop Fiesta:
Abortion: First, it was a state issue. Then it was federal. Then he was “neutral,” and now he wants to “let the states decide” again, unless it polls poorly in Iowa, in which case he’s suddenly very concerned.
Social Security and Medicare: At rallies, he promises to protect them. Meanwhile, Project 2025 has a budget blueprint that includes trimming the fat — a.k.a. cutting benefits. Like watching someone hug grandma with one hand while stealing her purse with the other.
Ukraine War: “I’ll end it in 24 hours,” he said — then he blinked, and handed the peace talks off to the Vatican. I guess 24 hours now includes divine intervention and papal blessings.
WAFFLES?
We are deep in syrup now, folks. The Trump administration’s second term has been one big Belgian breakfast of indecision, contradictions, and policy rollbacks — smothered in the goo of “alternative facts.”
Here’s some recent waffling fresh off the griddle:
TikTok Ban: First, it’s banned. Then it’s back. Then it’s “under negotiation,” then banned again, unless the parent company promises to make Trump “a good deal.” Is this policy or extortion? Even TikTok dances are more consistent.
National Guard in Protests: Deploy the troops! Wait, call them off! Wait, maybe send in the Marines? No wait — Florida already sent volunteers. Send the military to Democrat led States. Did someone lose the chain of command behind the Waffle House?
Health Care Cuts: Medicaid and Medicare were "off limits," until the budget quietly slipped in cuts to long-term care and prescription subsidies. All while telling senior citizens that he’s their best friend, presumably the kind who borrows your oxygen tank and never gives it back.
BITTERS?
Let’s be honest, this administration has been a cocktail of regrets and bitter aftertastes. Decisions so unpopular you can practically hear the sound of voters gagging from coast to coast.
Here’s a few sips of bitterness:
Book Bans and Curriculum Purges: Because nothing says “freedom” like banning The Diary of Anne Frank and rewriting slavery to sound like an unpaid internship.
Reproductive Rights Rollback: After years of stoking the anti-choice movement, Trump now wants to act like he’s a moderate. Meanwhile, states are prosecuting women and doctors like it’s a new season of The Handmaid’s Tale — brought to you by the Trump Network.
Journalist Crackdowns: Remember freedom of the press? Neither does Trump. Rubber bullets, intimidation, lawsuits — and let's not forget that time he tried to revoke CNN’s credentials for asking a question.
Veterans and Military Cuts: Troops deployed to control protests while their benefits get quietly gutted in Congress. But hey, at least they still get front row seats to Trump’s latest military cosplay.
WHERE’S THE BEEF?
Once upon a time, America’s word meant something. Now?
The U.S. under Trump 2.0 is like a fast-food commercial — all sizzle, no patty. The beef is gone. It left the White House kitchen and hasn’t been seen since.
Here’s how the “no meat in our word” diet is going:
NATO: Trump threatened to let Russia do “whatever they want” to NATO countries not paying up. That’s like telling your neighbors, “If you don’t mow the lawn, I’m handing the keys to your house to a burglar.”
Trade Deals: Trump tore up long-standing trade agreements, promised better ones, then replaced them with… nothing, or worse. Now, farmers are losing markets, and small businesses are drowning in tariffs like soggy fries.
International Trust: From walking away from Ukraine talks to flip-flopping on Taiwan, the U.S. is no longer the steady hand. It’s the guy at the poker table bluffing with Uno cards.
So yeah — “America First” might sound bold, but these days it feels more like “America’s First in Line at Denny’s at 4 am, Screaming at the Host Over an Imaginary Coupon.”
Tacos, waffles, bitters, beef… Whatever the flavor, Trump’s America First tastes more like leftovers than leadership.
And if we don’t start reading the ingredients, we’re gonna get food poisoning again in 2028.
Digest slowly. Vote wisely.